I'll Be Alright

Today I talked to my mother again, it's been a long time since I spoke her
She told me that my father was doing great since his surgery and that he had no problems with his throat so I was a little happy but I couldn't hide my pain for her so I told her that I was feeling so lonely, that I was so alone, that I had nobody and that I was feeling so empty, that my life was so empty without anyone there

I told her that I miss home, that I miss my family, my sister and all that I know
I am not doing well, I see the symptoms of the illness coming back and I feel less strong every day, so every day I am doing worse, I try to smile but I see it looks more like crying than smiling, I don't want to smile

Tonight I will take the train to Saint-Petersburg and from there I will go home again in a week or so, I had it with this lonely travel, I want to go home again and it is almost time, I just will look to all there heritage that I haven't seen yet and than it's enough for me

But to continue with my conversation with my mother, I told her how crazy I was for you and you for me and that we were both sad how it ended but we can't change it, so she asked me ''where am I looking for'' so I told her that I was looking for myself, that I was looking for people that like me and where I can relate to, but unfortunately I don't relate to people so easily, and it is my problem

She told me that I need to go to university again, look for a new purpose in my life and that I'll be better again by than, that there will be a new girl for me and that I will be alright again

I don't look for a new person, I don't want a new person, but don't worry for me

I'll be alright....

M