Tracks

Pfff... finally some time to send a post to my blog after a long day in the train, we will just stop for 30 minutes because they need to attach some sleeping compartments to the train and they need to get some fuel so I just went out of the train walking around in the station and looking to the map to see where I am, i'm far away from home, far away from everything I know, grumpy because I sleep bad, hungry because of the bad food they serve but still with a fake smile on my face
Opening Blogspot and see a message from you, how we are enemies and all I do and say is bad, how you want me to be friendly when I'm so far away because of you, your expecting nice words why?
I am sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way, but sometimes the truth hurts the most, showing the things that are actually happening but you don't need to care if my travel goes well or not, you just need to care what happens there, you need to learn and study and not care for an enemy, don't care that I can die today or tomorrow, don't care that the last months of me were the worst, I make my time the best I can by myself, far away from you so I don't hurt you anymore
When the train leaves it will drive for I think 20 hours, that's why we get the sleep compartments but I won't make any use of it, I can't sleep thinking in tomorrow, thinking that it could be my last day
Tomorrow I will arrive in Nizjni Novgorod in central Russia and I heard it is an industrial city so I don't really know what to expect, at least it is better than what I will find at home, even tough I miss it very much
Being alone isn't always so easy but it gives a little rest sometimes, but still I don't wish how I feel and where I am going through to anyone, not even my worst enemy because it is very difficult
Fortunately I have time to write, to put my thoughts on paper and use them when I get home and what will happen after, had time to change the lyrics of the love song that is for you even tough I know you won't care but still I make it to put my mind at ease before I go.. even tough it is a place I'd rather don't want to go to but it has no meaning for me to stay here, nobody that waits for me, nobody that needs me or wants me close to them, nobody that will miss me or would come look for me, something I wanted but never got, just for a short while, but not anymore, the world will keep spinning around, people still will get hurt and there still will be wars
I just wish that I could say that I had someone to love, that was just for me, someone that would truly be sad when I am not here anymore, but all I do is bring pain and make people go away
don't follow me to the place I will go, just go to the light at the end of the tunnel, all you need to do is follow the Tracks

M :(