Nowhere

I don't know what I just did but I felt like I had to, I just packed my bags, packed my clothes and just take everything I have even tough it is already 22:20 here I decided to go away, the woman at the desk tried to ask me where I was going but I kept walking, not listening to her, just listen to the voice in my head
My mind keeps telling me to go further away from you but my heart says otherwise, I should listen to my heart, but it is broken so it doesn't function too well so I need to listen to my mind, to reason with my uncontrolable anger, so with all pain inside and feeling myself getting weaker I decided to go
I sit in a train now, second time today, I don't know where it goes to but I hope it goes all the way to the moon, to a place so far away, a place that hasn't been touched by men yet, a place that is perfect for me to be alone, not hurting anyone with my presence, not bothering anyone with my questions, not being near the people that hurt me, just me and nature
I don't care if it's cold there, I got warm clothes with me and I don't care if there is shelter from the rain/snow/hail because that won't kill me, but something else does, something deep inside kills me every day, over and over and it won't stop, it keeps haunting my mind and I found out something that makes a lot of sense ''The person you love most too is the person that can hurt you most'' and unfortunately it happened to me, I love you more than I ever loved a person but you too hurted me most, but being hurt is part of life even tough you don't want to hurt but everybody does it, maybe not knowingly but still you do
It is starting to get cold and I am the only one in the train compartiment and I am a little scared because we are driving really fast and outside I see many green lights, ''Aurora Borealis'' or the northern lights, seems I am going towards the more cold areas but that's ok, there is no one there, just nature and me, my laptop will probably freeze and my iPhone too so I think there won't be any other update soon but you'll never know
I prepare to dress more warm and I think I will get out of the train in 30 minutes and than I'll see where I go, I don't know why I never did this before, I am really sick and feel like I can die in a month but I never felt this alive, never had these powerful feelings (if I don't count the feelings we had together in our nights but that were feelings of love) I can't believe I've never done this before, it really is an adventure all by yourself and I don't regret it even if it means I die in the cold here, this is life
But now I must stop writing and get dressed more warm, riding among the train to some place in the distance, riding to Nowhere

M

(send a bit late but I had no net on my iPhone)