What will happen....

I seriously don't know what to write anymore, all my energy is being drained from my thoughts to my feet to keep me moving and now of my lack of energy I've been walking the wrong direction yesterday and walked further into Germany....Fuck it.. I just write because I got nothing to just, I'll tell a little about what I see now

Like I just said I walked the wrong way, I walked in the direction of Bayern, I believe it is called Bavaria in English but I'm not sure, I followed a road alongside a river and I was thinking why it took so long to get to The Netherlands, because I was sure I had to see some road signs today leading to Dutch cities but unfortunately Munich started to appear once and when I saw it again and I saw the distance till there got shorter I kinda wasn't too happy about it but getting mad won't change it and I need the energy and besides that the energy goes to my feet, it unfortunately keeps running through my mind

I can't stop thinking in what will happen when I get home, even tough you've said that they will probably be very happy when I get back I would like to remind you that they take my things away for days when I do something they don't like, what if they tell me to get out and don't come back, what will I do than, what can I do than?
I don't know that many people and I don't know anyone that would take me in for weeks till university starts, I...I...I just don't know what to do and there is no one that will or can help me with it, I don't know what will be when I get home :(

I just want to run away again you know, just like I used to do, just run and avoid the confrontation from things I never liked, everybody has those feelings sometimes like when you have an oral exam some people want to sink through the floor because they are so nervous, I'm not one of those people luckily but I have way bigger problems than an oral exam, I run away from all difficult things in life instead of facing them, I'm just a wussy sometimes, I'm too sweet sometimes and other moments I am ''too much'' of something, I don't know how else to explain, I'm too sweet, too mad, too caring, just ''too'' and that is never something good, ''too'' much of something is always bad, maybe I couldn't keep you because I loved you ''too'' much

M