Not Mine

I once felt the strength of your arms
As they embrassed my ever-loving body,
The warmth of your heart
As you placed your lips oh, so gently to mine,
The serenity of your love as you traced my every line,
The passion in your eyes as you stared deep into my soul.

Do I dare ask where all of that has gone?
The strength has turned to weakness
And the warmth to frigid breath,
The serenity to hostility
And the passion to necessity.

Why?...
Why is all that you felt for me
All of a sudden so far away?
Will it ever return someday?

I look deep into myself,
To see if it's me who's changed
But, I find no answers to my questions.
To this, I guess, my heart is destined.

Destined to be lonely, never to be free.
Ask what you will, my love
But, please just ask for me.
In my heart... you'll always be.

M

I'm going to miss you

I'm going to miss you, every single word you said and every smile you ever showed me, I'm going to miss them
I still wish that we didn't end up this way but we did and I feel bad about it, because I used to hope we would have a future together, but no, we don't.

I used to believe that what we had was special, so special that only you and I could feel it, that other people would never have it and that we would be together forever but I was wrong, we were wrong

We had a lot of  'first-times' together and I'm glad they were with you, but still it eats a little in my head, because I wanted you to be the only one for all time, live my life with you and one day die with you, but I can only say that it was a silly dream, my dreams never come true

I wish you happiness too and a wonderful life, and I'm sorry it had to end this way, I can tell you about the problems I had last week and why I didn't post or send a text back but it would make me sad to say all things that happen lately so I'm not going to tell them and just so you know, I started studying Chinese, so I'll stay far away from you

Everything we've been through, all things we've shared, the ring and the letter, the long nights and all the good and bad stories, the imaginations and dreams, I'll keep them and remember you always, I remember what you meant for me and what love can be when you are with the right person, you know that I'll miss you and that you will always have a special place in my heart, I hope it will be the same for you

But does it mean that it is the end, I don't know, life is a mystery and so was our story and even tough you gave me a cold goodbye I still want to end it with..

One Sad Person

Have you ever felt so lonely that it hurt, that when you look around and all you see are happy couples, seeing them smile and just look so in love and you ask yourself why you can't be part of that couple, than you know how I've felt all my life

I know I could never keep the love of my life, I already knew it from the start, because nothing good ever happens to me, why can't I be the lucky guy for once in my life, why can't I have what I want just once

I am not perfect, I admit it and yes, I make my mistakes and I even lie sometimes, but haven't I been punished enough, isn't being all my life alone and losing the love of my life enough for the bad things I've done and you should know that I even lied to you.. once, because I didn't know the answer, you asked me once if I'd love you just as much as I said I did if you didn't have anymore what you wanted me to have and I said ''yes, I would'' but that was a lie, the right answer should have been that I didn't know it, because you would have been a different person.

Since I have a lot of time to think during the day I ask myself if it was all worth it, give away my heart, get my heart back broken and now it got attacked, and on top of that being alone is slowly consuming me, nothing is as bad as being alone, that's why everyone is together, that why there are so many happy couples, that's why there is just one sad person

M

Love is like...

Every day I look outside, whether it is raining or if the sun is shining, I see animals together and happy, I see them flying in the rain or I see some little squirrels running in the trees and then I think of you
When I see little birds in their nest while the father is looking for worms and the mother is keeping them warm I think of us and how we could have been, making you a good breakfast while you were still laying in bed and I could make you a little happy

I know what made you go away from me is still keeping you away from me I know and it still hurts us both because the love between you and me isn't becoming any less and I will describe it a little in the animal world and luckily I haven't seen it yet and I hope I never have to because in my opinion it is one of the saddest things of life

Swans are beautiful birds, they are majestic and somehow I think they are the ''animals of love'' just like we were the ''humans or love'' but something about them makes them so beautiful, when they find the Swan they want to be with they will never go away from it again, they stay together always, they swim together and lay their necks into each other and make the infamous heart shape like this picture shows ==>

So from then on they defend each other like crazy, they fight for each other like I would do for you, they protect the family and their lover and I'm sure you know or heard from people that Swans can get very aggressive when they have little swans with them and just as people do, when they have children they (hopefully) always care for them and make sure they grow up

But here comes the sad part, there are 2 ways that can end the life of a Swan, Age or a Hunter, and it doesn't matter which one of it is, because the other Swan will always stay with the lifeless body, so when one of them dies the other swan will go crazy but still will bring food and tries to get the life back in the other swan but we know that it won't happen, the Swan stops eating too because of the pain of love that it brings so the living Swan dies too and in one way I think it is so beautiful, that you die for the one you really love because I would do it too

So if you'd ask me now what love is, I think Love is like....being able to give all time and happiness to the one you love with all your heart

M

The Story Of A Heart

Sorry that this story took so long, I did not have a lot of inspiration lately and I couldn't find interesting, sweet and kind things to write since I've written already many, many things here on my blog but this is something new I've been working on, I tried to make it something that will speak to you when you read it and I hope it will show that how good something may be, It can always be better than it looks and time will tell it to you if the impression you have of someone will stay the same all the time or gets better or worse

Have a good time reading and I hope you will remember better times

''You will remember it all you life when you meet a person that fits you so, so well that you want to tell him everything and want to share everything with him, that life seems nothing but a party and that it doesn't matter where he is, where he is from, if he is rich or poor or is cute or not, you know you want to be there so bad that it physically hurts that you aren't there, it is called ''a true love''

A person that has a listening ear for you and where you can spill all your problems without being judged for them, where that person tries to be the best for you and make you happy every single way he can, even tough he isn't perfect he tries to be perfect for you just to make you happy and feel good

When this person makes you happy you start to feel warm inside, your heart starts to glow and give you wonderful feelings inside and you know you want more, you started to get addicted to this person but it is commonly known as ''being in love'' and it is true, when you're in love you don't want anything else than be with the person you're in love with all the time and try to make this person as happy as this person makes you happy
If we ask Wikipedia what love is Wikipedia will say that it is an emotional reaction to a person that gives chemical reactions that feel good but I think what we had was so much stronger, what we had was so, so perfect, it was way further than in love, you weren't my true love, you were so much more, like a ''soul/heart/mind/body mate'' I don't know how else to describe it

Every moment I was with you it was like a dream, the way we could talk the talk, how the connection between us was so strong from the beginning, that every night we smiled together when we imagined everything we wanted to, that we loved each other already from the beginning and that you made me feel the way no one has ever done before and I can still feel you inside my heart, I hear your voice in my head telling me everything will be alright while it isn't, but just to hear it makes me feel better, my heart still plays our story when I feel sad, just like it did when I wasn't here and in the moments I wanted to give up, your voice made me continue my way

But like every good story, there is a sad part too... what happens when 2 people love each other with all their heart but can never be together, well let's just say 3 years but that's no difference with forever, what would you do? would you give up or stick together, Will your love fight the tears of your lover and make him/her believe that even tough you're far, your mind is always with that person and that you will always be there, not physical but in his/her heart, can you beat time?
It's something we've been telling ourselves for a long time that we would never give up and that it's just 3 years, but no matter how strong a love is, missing you won in the end and cost me you.

''Our story hasn't ended yet, our story is always writing something new when the ends starts to come near, so just believe me when I say that there will always be a little bit of me with you all your life'' even tough there are moments we will be lonely and alone in a room, inside we will never be alone again, no matter what life brings us, my heart will never forget our story and I love you always

It isn't fair that the true hearts can't be together always, that the cheaters and the people that don't love each other can be together but that's the way love is, when you find someone that makes you sing you just have to do more afford to get what is really just your to have, you can just give your heart to one person
This person becomes the most precious thing in life when your heart tells you that he/she is the one for you to grow old with, don't doubt because of anything, when he/she is the right person for you go for it and do all you can to convince him/her that you are made for each other and make your own little fairy tale like I have had with You, a Story Of A Heart

So believe me when I say that I love you, I made this blog that is dedicated to you because I love you and every post I made beside 'Father's Day'' all are related to you to express the feelings I have in that moment or that day about you or because of you, I've written a song for you because I love you and still haven't posted it because I think you won't like it but one day I will, I really miss you and I think it is a shame we aren't together anymore and I've got to live with it and that I don't like it won't change it so I can only let it be the way it is now.

What the future will bring to you is happiness, I know it and won't stand in your way for you to find it because I wish you all the happiness in the world even tough it means that I can't give it to you, but my heart will never forget you and our story, so whatever happens..

I Love you

M