Locked

It's 22:46 and I am alone in home
everybody is out, my sister and boyfriend are out to the city and my parents are celebrating Queensday, so now I'm alone, it's so quiet, no sound of cars or people outside, no sound of people in the house, just nothing, not even a slight breeze of air through the leafs of the trees in front of the house
I'm thinking in the times we were talking at this time of day, asking about each others day and asking how each others dinners were and asking what we were going to do the next day
I'm locked in the house, my heart is locked again and the key is thrown away into the the sea of my tears, my heart belongs to nobody anymore
all alone in a big house, with all the lights turned down you I always get the feeling like someone else is in the house too that wants to hurt me like a burglar but I like the pain it gives because it's less than what I feel in my heart daily, the pain of being alone again, the pain of reality
I sleep very bad the last weeks, mainly because of the thinking in death and how your future will look, I wish you the very best but just don't have the best anymore but is cocky of me to say, sorry
I'm locked in my cage, my heart and my mind, it's very hard for me, hell it's even more difficult than being sick
If it is my destiny to be alone, than it is the way it is, it is inevitable
so to all people that read this, don't end up like me: smile, spread happiness and give love to all people that are close to you

M